They lost my 6 year old kid in Tanzania. :*(

Things I should be doing:

x . clean room

x. watch my movie rentals (Post Grad for brainlessness, Little Ashes for Rob dosage, The Blind Side for heart)

x . continue to think of how to re-design my dad's catalogue. u don't give someone 3 days to think of something. geez.

x . look for a new job (-_-''')

Things I'm doing instead:

x . blogging

x . getting angry at World Vision

Why am I getting angry at World Vision? THIS is why I'm angry at them:

Can SOMEONE please tell me how the hell they lost my sponsor child. I thought that in this village that I'm supposedly sponsoring, there's actually World Vision people there that are helping build things, teach things etcetc. HOW THE FUCK DO YOU LET AN ENTIRE FAMILY GO MISSING?! Fine. Relocation. I understand relocation. Why you would re-locate out of a supposedly getting better village into the unknowns is beyond me. But fine, people like to relocate other people. Considering it's a relocation PLAN, how then are they UNABLE TO GET IN CONTACT with my family!? WHERE THE FUCK IS MY 6 YEAR OLD CHILD!? HE JUST TURNED 6!!!

ohmygod. I'm so angry. THEN they have the balls to ask me to sponsor another child. Why the hell do I trust you with my money when you go and lose my kid?! But now I will feel guilty if I said no to this kid. It's not his fault World Vision is stupid.

I helped change his life?! I'm not buying it. I help change his life and you go and lose him for me. I JUST BOUGHT HIM A BOX OF CRAYONS!!! omfg.

Excuse me, I'm going to go and cry now.

Where do you see yourself in 3 years? 5 years?

I hate that question. I hate it when people ask me that question. I don't see myself doing anything in 3 years. I can't even figure out what it is I'm supposed to be doing tomorrow - except for work of course.

I obviously am not a very ambitious sort of person.

I can tell you I don't want to be doing what Im doing now in 3 years. That's about it.

I can also probably tell you that I really need a career change. I seriously would like a desk that I can put pictures at. Actually. I would like a desk where I can put a bottle of Snapple on and not get yelled at. Honestly, do you care that your teller has a bottle of Snapple on her desk? I mean...tellers talk all day. Literally. Is it so horrible that she needs to drink something other than water? Why the heck do you care anyway, as long as your bills are paid, you get your money, you make your investments etc.

See? I need a career change lol.

Don't ask me where I want to go.

If I knew, I'd be there.

Keep on going

I've just signed on to volunteer at the BMO Vancouver Marathon, happening May 2. Choychoy decided to join me. Not quite a smurf experience, but I can't wait.

Need to find more things to do!!

Jackie suggested dance. I'm up for that.

Too much drama lately. It hurts my head. People give me headaches. Geez. Need to rent a good movie. Anyone want to watch Blind Side with me?

What am I doing home on a friday night?

Perhaps I shall pick up my story and keep writing tonight.

p.s. i can't get the rss feed to work! =(

p.p.s. never mind i got it working.

---

my manager at the bank asked about my time at the olympics in the car on the way to dinner on tuesday. i told him how much fun i had, how incredible everything was...

he asked me why i decided to do it in the first place. what make me sign up.

i told him it was to prove something

and he goes "prove something? what did u have to prove?"

to prove i was good enough.

why would u think you're not good enough?

because someone once told me i'm not good enough.

why would u even for a second believe that you're not good enough? you KNOW you're good enough

.

i know that now. i didn't know that then.

pfft and what is HE doing now.

nothing.

exactly.

and i know that now. but i have to thank him.

i proved a whole lot more than just the fact i'm good enough.

But is good enough...good enough?

From Movies to a not-so-much farewell

Quick movie review first because I've watched quite a few recently.

i - Ponyo. Another masterpiece by Miyazaki and Studio Ghibli. He never fails to bring back the wonders of magic and childhood. My Neighbour Totoro has been a life long favourite of mine, ditto with Kiki, Valley of the Wind, Naussica, Princess Mononoke. Ponyo will be added to that list. It's about a little fish who becomes a little girl after falling in love with a little boy. It's like Little Mermaid but ten thousand times cuter. The animation is beyond wonderful. This masterpiece is all Miyazaki. Disney had no chance.

ii - Curious George 2. HAHAHAHA. oh man. I loved Curious George 1, so of course I had to watch this one. I have to say I liked the first one more. But George is cute as ever, and the movie served the purpose of an hour of mindless laughter.

iii - Remember Me. Absolutely phenominal. I say this as Rob Pattinson's devoted (and probably insane) fan, as well as Pierce Brosnan's fan. I loved every character in this movie. It's about 2 troubled teens in NYC who find each other and fall in love. Both struggle with family issues on the side. The ending was a giant twist...and it broke my heart. I left the theatre wanting to be slammed into the wall by a hottie, and sobbing at the same time. Definately see this one if you are a fan of indie films as this one was made with an indie flair. I love what this movie has done for Rob himself. Just watch the interviews he does with this one with Emilie de Ravin vs the ones he'd do for Twilight, and you'll know what I'm talking about.

iv - Up in the Air. I actually saw this a while ago. Also a very indie vibe sort of film to me. I really liked it, aside from the opening. The opening made me motion sick. Weird to say that for a movie that's totally not action. George Clooney is brilliant in it, as is Anna Kendrick. I look forward to move greatness from her. It deserved every nomination it got for the Oscars; go see it.

v - Valentine's Day. Watched this one....Feb 12. Unless you've been living under a rock, you'll know it stars well...pretty much everyone in Hollywood. the Roberts (Julia and Emma), Bradley Cooper, Ashton Kutcher, Jessica x 2 (Alba + Biel), Taylor x2 (Lautner and Swift), Dr McDreamy+Steamy, Jennifer Garner, George Lopez...etcetc. It's sort of like He's Just Not That Into You in that it had so many stories that are seperate, and yet they all intertwined somehow. This one definately had an ending that had me and my friend squealing in the theatre. Watch it for your next girl's night.

Also watched

Management (don't bother)

Love Happens (surprising good rental)

The Invention of Lying (zzzz....)

The Proposal (go rent it. now. Ryan Reynolds, Sandra Bullock, Betty White. lovely!)

but don't feel like writing about all of them now.

-x-

Interesting read of the day:

Popular Baby Names of 2010 [x]

>funny how Twilight is mentioned even in that haha

--x--

Last night, we got together with my team of Class 2010 Smurfs for a wonderful dinner at the Boathouse. Too bad Adam was unable to make it, as it was originally a partial farewell for him before he left for home.

I finally hung up my smurf suit today and put it in my closet. I have to admit, I cried.

A thank you I'll never forget.

Excellences.... Chefs
Monsieur Rogge.... Membres du CIO
Monsieur le Premier Ministre
Chefs d'Etat
Les Premiers Ministres des Province
Maires et Mairesses
Mesdames et Messieurs
Athletes du Monde
Bonsoir - Good Evening

Nous sommes tous membres d'unde meme famille. Les Jeux Olympiques de Deux Mille Dix nous ont appris que nous ne sommes pas six millards d'individus.

Over these remarkable 17 days we have together demonstrated the remarkable powers of sport to the human world.

We have seen first hand that there is indeed a beautiful force that can unite, inspire and liberate - a force that can replace despair with hope and ignite the human spirit

This force is sport... in the arena of the Olympic Games.

And because we had sport here - we too had peace.

Ces Jeux se sont deroules dans la paix, ils se sont deroules dans l'amitie.

But the time has come to say goodbye...

To say thank you... de vous dire merci.

And to perhaps compare for a moment the Canada that was with the Canada that now is.

I believe we Canadians tonight are stronger, more united, more in love with our country and more connected with each other than ever before.

These Olympic Games have lifted us up.

If the Canada that came together on Opening night was a little mysterious to some it no longer is.

Now you know us, eh!

If we were once the few we are surely now the many.

That quiet, humble national pride we were sometimes reluctant to acknowledge seemed to take to the streets as the most beautiful kind of patriotism broke out all across our country.

So many new and dazzling applications for the Maple Leaf - so many reasons to smile and be joyful.

Canadians, you joined each other and our colourful international visitors in common celebration - radiant, jubilant, spontaneous, peaceful.

For us you were the wind beneath our wings.

You did not just cheer - rather you lived every glorious moment as if you yourselves were competing for gold.

You were the bench strength we had hoped for - the difference makers at these Games.

Alexandre, your first Gold Medal gave us all permission to feel like and behave like champions. Our last one will be remembered for generations.

To the men and women in the blue jackets you are the undisputed heroes of these Games. The class of 2010.

A perfect team, you have behaved with great dignity, poured your hearts and souls into every task.

You smiled, you cheered and you filled the hearts of our visitors with friendship and good will.

For many of you who toiled behind the scenes no thanks will ever be enough.

YOu took on a stubborn mountain with all your might. The result, Blue Jackets-1, Cypress Mountain Weather-0

You were tested again and again and reminded us all every day that there is a force that can sustain itself against the full thrust of a determined human heart.

May your contribution here be worn as a badge of honour for the rest of your lives.

For you have, through your service, defined for all to see what it is to be a proud, generous Canadian.

To our many friends and trusted partners, we tip our hat to each of you for a magnificent contribution.

To our leaders, sitting over there, full credit for believing in and empowering this great adventure.

To those who built the venues, drove the busses, cooked the food and toiled day and night to complete a million tasks - may the success of these Games be your reward for all your days to come.

To the people of the host region you were magnificent - Votre contribution a ete magique.

To our international visitors you were gracious, thoughtful, spontaneous guests and spirited fans, merci bien.

To our security team for keeping us safe, you were in a word "terrific".

To the IOC, thank you for trusting us and investing so passionately in our success.

It has been our great honour to host the world and we thank you for believing in our vision, we did our best.

To our friends from Sochi we are in your corner and wish you every success in 2014.

To the people of Georgia, we are so sad and so sorry for your loss. Your unimaginable grief is shared by every Canadian and all those who have gathered here. May the legacy of your favourite son Nodar Kumaritashvilli never be forgotten and serve to inspire youth everywhere to be champions in life.

Athletes of the world, you promised you would play fair and you did.

At your hands and through your determination and tenacity we have felt every imaginable emotion. We have lived the agony and the ecstasy with you as if we ourselves were competing.

By your example you have injected hope into the lives of youth everywhere. Youth that will rise tomorrow ready to emulate you.

Boys and girls you will never meet now know that it is possible to achieve greatness through the power of a dream.

You have set the course for the next generation of great champions. You return to your homes as the best ambassadors we have for a better world. You are the future.

The youth of the world await your leadership and your example.

And finally to those who have watched us all over the globe, we hope you enjoyed these Games and the telling of our humble Canadian story.

The young men and women you sent here are coming home. You can be very proud of them.

The Games will have many wonderful legacies. I wish but for one.

That every Canadian child - be they from Chicoutimi, Moncton, Grand Prairie, Sqamish or Niagara Falls - will have the chance to grow up to experience the pleasure of sport - no one left out.

And that we of the global Olympic family will not rest until the right of every child to play across this planet is secured.

Good bye to you all

Comme le disait Robert Charlebois, Adieu, tu seras toujours mon plus beau souvenir.

Merci Beaucoup, Au Revoir

Vive le Canada

Thank you Canada.

--John Furlong

Thank you, Mr Furlong. For the best adventure of a lifetime.

Karma's such a bitch.

I love it.

April 14, 2009. Shitty day turned into the best day of my life.

Shitty part was because someone whom I had considered to be my best friend for the past 6 years told me, while I was falling apart because I had found out something I really didn't need to find out, to suck it up and deal with it.

With friends like that, who needs enemies.

So two days ago, I got the chance to say it back. Karma's such a bitch, isn't it?

But in a way, I have to thank him. Without him, I wouldn't have ran into Rob.

Who says the number 4 was bad luck? :)

:Love:

Remember Me is coming out tomorrow. I unfortunately will not get to see it tomorrow because I'm still sick. Monday. Fingers crossed.

Oh right, I'd also have to thank this so called friend of mine. He taught me that I really didn't need him in my life afterall. And I'm better for it.

Totally on the side

Rob in all his scruffy glory. I love scruffy Rob. I'd take scruffy Rob over meticulously groomed Edward Cullen.

But I did enjoy a nice sunset and a conversation with a nicely groomed Edward-esque Rob. Just Rob, me, and his driver. That would've been April, 2009. *dies a little just thinking back* So I can't complain.

Anyway. Enjoy!

What will YOU remember most...

I'm suffering from immense post-Olympic withdrawal. I am in denial that I have no more 4am shifts at the Coliseum. I am in denial that I cannot throw on my smurf suit and just go, not having to worry about what I might look like today because everyone will look the same - blue and smiley. I am feeling so empty because I cannot greet 400 people and be thanked in return because I simply smiled.

I cannot believe I had such a chance.

The last host video...What will you remember most out of these winter games?

Everything. Everyone. New friends, old friends...I will remember running from work to volunteer for the world championships in January 2009. I will remember crying when I got my acceptance email from Vanoc. I will remember running home with my new smurf outfit and throwing everything on because it really really meant I was part of it. I will remember being scared because I didn't know anyone else doing this, and the journey to finding this wonderful new family. I will remember my peers. I will remember seeing for the first time the new Olympic worthy Pacific Coliseum - what a far cry from the old Canuck days! I will remember falling out of my chair when my schedule changed a zillion times, and feeling so bad I had to keep asking to change it back. I will remember how happy I was to see Brittney again. I will remember seeing Adam for the first time and thinking "What the heck is Sedin doing at PAC?"

I will remember how I found a new piece of myself through watching all the talented, dedicated volunteers and staff at the venue. At every venue.

I will remember not to settle for anything less all. Because I'm giving my all. I will not settle for a boy. I know I deserve more. Because I saw my respect reflected back at me. From the best of the best.

Bravo, Vanoc. You certainly knew how to choose them well.

I will remember watching and cheering and screaming, and crying....for Alex, for Maelle...for Patrick Chan....for Tessa and Scott. For Joannie. For the men's gold medal game. For 2 weeks every 4 years I stop hating Iginla lol.

one little boy said that this is a once in a lifetime thing and that he cannot believe he got to be a part of it. Funny. I thought the same thing. Except he's probably 8 years old max. I'm sure it won't be once in a lifetime thing, for either of us.

We just have to follow the flame, wherever it burns.

I'll remember.

Saying one last farewell to PAC

Said my goodbyes for real this time. Everything will be taken down by the time I go by there again tomorrow. Everything was already being taken down. I never walked such a sad and lonely walk down that path before. I didn't know that the playground was just on the other side of the fence. I didn't know that's where Linton and I really said goodbye 2 years ago.

oh well. One more look over my shoulder, and I keep on walking.

it's so empty here

a podium finish with the best of the best.

Thank you, World. You've made this the best 4 weeks of my life.

Having Trouble Saying Goodbye

As always, once I find myself liking something enough to feel attached, I also find myself unable to let it go.

Tomorrow is my last shift at the Pacific Coliseum as part of Team 2010. It's been one heck of an indescribable, insane, inCREDible journey. Much more than I could ever have imagined and asked for when I first signed up for this 2.5 years ago. It's well worth the wait, well worth the anxiety for its arrival, well worth all the sleepless nights and days, etcetc.

10 shifts (because I was down and out for a weekend with my insane cold).
One smurf outfit, 12 new pins, a Quatchi doll, a Birks keychain, and a silver medallion later, I will be receiving my final shift gift, saying goodbye to the building I lived at for almost half a month, people I've checked in at 4 am, a team of fantastic co-volunteers, and 2 veryvery wonderful supervisors.



As Charlie Brown says...Where's the good in goodbye?


Thank you, Team 2010. For memories to last more than a lifetime, and the drive to sign up for London 2012.
Yes. I just did it. My friend looked at me as if I was nuts.



Oh God. Panic attack. What will I do on the weekends now?!
What will I do when I"m not actually meeting 400 people a day from every part of the world imaginable?! OhMyGod.

Our Golden Sweethearts

oh loves! Canada's first Gold in ice dance ever! history written by 22 year old Moir and 20 year old Virtue.

CONGRATULATIONS SCOTT AND TESSA!!!!

Motion Sickness

from watching too much tv. Who would've thought lol. Yes, I'm THAT out of practice when it comes to television.

Too much has happened since....I'm sicksicksick and can't carry on a conversation without coughing my lungs out, so I'll let the pictures do the talking today.

got free tickets to watch men's ice hockey, sweden vs belarus. so happy!!! choychoy was the only one who'd go with me. lol.! then found out they were suite tickets. omfg. sweet tickets indeed! happy surprises, non?

adam was the one who gave me the tickets. here are his long lost swedish triplets in action. sedin and sedin

welcome back, ohlund....i miss u!

putting super in supervisor. i wound up really sick the next morning, and brittney took care of me then sent me home for sleep lol.

battling the crowds after the game to leave Canada Hockey Place.

ugh ok going to sleep now. dear cough, please go away.

You miss 100% of the shots you don't take.

That's what Wayne Gretzky said.

:D

I'm completely exhausted - both emotionally and physically. Every day, I come home be it from work or from volunteer, and I just collapse. Too much excitement, too much of everything happening, too many voices asking Echo to do something.

I'd complain, but I can't. I love it.

My body thinks otherwise, and it's definately letting me know. Eyes water, running for my bottle of Cold-FX, and before you know it, I'm dead in bed...fever, chills, sore throat, plugged nose and all. Oh God. Dragged myself out of bed today (literally) to go in to volunteer. Got to push people in wheelchairs for 3 hours. Ate enough Strepsils to make my doctor cringe. But I met so many nice people from everywhere, and they were all so grateful that I'm taking my time and energy to bring them from the entrance to the security gate to the shuttle bus. And they all laughed at the fact that "they found a girl [my] size to push [them]". Seriously, they all said that to me. And trust me, I had my doubts.

But hey, it's another adventure, no?

So, thus ended shift 7. Only 4 more shifts to go. I don't want this to end!

Never without a smile.

The two people who puts the word "super" in supervisor - Adam & Brittney.

I'll always remember, and will always look up to them, if ever I need to be a leader again.

Everyday, I crawl into bed wanting to write. But I have no energy for it. I hope that when I have the time and energy, I still remember what I wanted to write down. :D

Bienvenue! Welcome, World!

Hello, MukMuk.

I cannot believe that the games are here! I cannot believe that it's been 2 years since I've signed up to be a volunteer, and 2 years of waiting finally ended when they sent me in to get my uniform. I was so excited, so relieved...

Would you understand how big of a hug this opportunity represents? Someone somewhere thinks I'm good enough. Good enough to stand in this wonderful uniform to represent Vancouver...British Columbia...Canada.

Never have I been so proud of myself.

Bienvenue

When I looked at my schedule, and saw the 5am, 4:30 am shifts, I nearly fell out of my chair. Oh God I hate mornings. Winter mornings stink even more. Not to mention that starting from mid January, I was essentially saying goodbye to weekends, and pretty much life in general. Still, 2010 was to be mine, and how better to start this adventure?

Working before the games were here, getting to meet hundreds of people every day, working with the best people I could have asked for...with the best supervisors ever! I have raved over how much I love this volunteer post. I love Brittney, she's so chill so easygoing, and she knows absolutely everything and everyone at the Pacific Coliseum. I love Adam, he's so funny...he IS the UN...and he taught me my first ever Australian slang. Budgey stealer. lmao.

I actually found myself saying certain words with an accent. I'm still not sure what accent because I absorb so many different ones every shift. I figure it must be Australian somewhere in there lol. You'd be surprised at how receptive you are at 5am. ;)

So now the wait is ended, and the torch is lit. I cried watching the flame approach. I cried when Gretzky lit the torch finally. I cried watching every re-play of all the Olympic moments. Perhaps pride is not a virtue, but I am so very proud to be Canadian.

It's been a fantastic ride so far, and 2 weeks left to go.

I waited so long for this - I don't want it to end.

Promises to self.

Even though I once said "Don't make me a promise. You'll just break it, and break my heart along with it."

I hope I have more credibility than that?

Anyway, it's been way too long. It's been a heck of a ride since last fall. I have done so much, met so many people, and in the process I have shed a piece of the past half decade. It makes me sad when I think about it, because I learned to stand for myself in that half decade. I had found so much of who I am, and found the courage to show the world who I can be. Funny because the courage did not come from myself, but from a boy I had considered to be my best friend. Even funnier because with him, I forgot who I was and would up totally unsure of who I am. and even funnier still because everything was a big fat joke to him.

[insert rude comment]

So I try hard not to think about it.

Still, sometimes when a picture of him pops up out of nowhere, it breaks my heart. Then I scramble to put the pieces back in place, because you know what? I won't settle for a boy anymore.

Following that train of thought, I have rediscovered parts of myself, uncovered parts of myself, and created the remainder to the specifications that please me and only me. That sounds sort of selfish, doesn't it? But it makes me happy. And for now, that is enough.

I've done so much in 2009. Thank you 2009.

I swore to myself that 2010 will be mine. Looking at my little planner, I don't think I have time to not claim it mine.

January was full of partying that couldn't fit into December, Kathy was in town, and some extra shifts at work purely as a favour to my manager;

February is full on Olympics (7 day weeks for one month. I can do this!), and Valentine's Day movie comes out.

March is for bachelorette party planning, and holyeff Rob's new movie;

April is for Kathy's visit plus the MAN (my baby...times two!);

May is TwiCon (*jumps around) and Vegas (hello Sin City, it's been way too long.);

June is my birthday...and ECLIPSE comes out just in time for it;

August is Kylie and Noah's big day...reminder to self to get some sleep for July;

November will be my trip to NYC.

December is as always my Christmas insanity. I can't wait.

2010...

January had proven itself insanely busy. I'm not quite sure where it went, really. Went to a fantastic 100 Monkeys concert where I took a good 1500 pics in a mere 2 hours. FIFTEEN HUNDRED. Even caught a kiss from Jackson. Hahaha.

February. Honestly, I don't know what date it is. I count my days now as "bmo" or "olympics". Tomorrow is BMO day. I'll figure out the date when I make it to my computer tomorrow. I'm looking forward to all the post work activities, plus the games. The count down thing says 3 more days. It's almost like Christmas. Except I've waited way too long, and it's going to go away way too soon. I think I'm going to look into volunteering for the London games soon. Line, hook, sinker - I think I'm going to be stuck for life.

I'm loving my position at the games right now. I love meeting and talking to hundreds of people every day. I love learning new things, seeing new things. I love the fact that I can speak English at work.

I'm OBVIOUSLY in need of a new career job. At the very minimum....I need to speak more English.

Looking back, I also really need to hit the slopes soon. My skis are starting to feel lonely. Anyone game?

(Dream searching temporarily put on hiatus. I have no time.)