Promises to self.

Even though I once said "Don't make me a promise. You'll just break it, and break my heart along with it."

I hope I have more credibility than that?

Anyway, it's been way too long. It's been a heck of a ride since last fall. I have done so much, met so many people, and in the process I have shed a piece of the past half decade. It makes me sad when I think about it, because I learned to stand for myself in that half decade. I had found so much of who I am, and found the courage to show the world who I can be. Funny because the courage did not come from myself, but from a boy I had considered to be my best friend. Even funnier because with him, I forgot who I was and would up totally unsure of who I am. and even funnier still because everything was a big fat joke to him.

[insert rude comment]

So I try hard not to think about it.

Still, sometimes when a picture of him pops up out of nowhere, it breaks my heart. Then I scramble to put the pieces back in place, because you know what? I won't settle for a boy anymore.

Following that train of thought, I have rediscovered parts of myself, uncovered parts of myself, and created the remainder to the specifications that please me and only me. That sounds sort of selfish, doesn't it? But it makes me happy. And for now, that is enough.

I've done so much in 2009. Thank you 2009.

I swore to myself that 2010 will be mine. Looking at my little planner, I don't think I have time to not claim it mine.

January was full of partying that couldn't fit into December, Kathy was in town, and some extra shifts at work purely as a favour to my manager;

February is full on Olympics (7 day weeks for one month. I can do this!), and Valentine's Day movie comes out.

March is for bachelorette party planning, and holyeff Rob's new movie;

April is for Kathy's visit plus the MAN (my baby...times two!);

May is TwiCon (*jumps around) and Vegas (hello Sin City, it's been way too long.);

June is my birthday...and ECLIPSE comes out just in time for it;

August is Kylie and Noah's big day...reminder to self to get some sleep for July;

November will be my trip to NYC.

December is as always my Christmas insanity. I can't wait.

2010...

January had proven itself insanely busy. I'm not quite sure where it went, really. Went to a fantastic 100 Monkeys concert where I took a good 1500 pics in a mere 2 hours. FIFTEEN HUNDRED. Even caught a kiss from Jackson. Hahaha.

February. Honestly, I don't know what date it is. I count my days now as "bmo" or "olympics". Tomorrow is BMO day. I'll figure out the date when I make it to my computer tomorrow. I'm looking forward to all the post work activities, plus the games. The count down thing says 3 more days. It's almost like Christmas. Except I've waited way too long, and it's going to go away way too soon. I think I'm going to look into volunteering for the London games soon. Line, hook, sinker - I think I'm going to be stuck for life.

I'm loving my position at the games right now. I love meeting and talking to hundreds of people every day. I love learning new things, seeing new things. I love the fact that I can speak English at work.

I'm OBVIOUSLY in need of a new career job. At the very minimum....I need to speak more English.

Looking back, I also really need to hit the slopes soon. My skis are starting to feel lonely. Anyone game?

(Dream searching temporarily put on hiatus. I have no time.)